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FACEBOOK The Richest Breakfast In the World

Here’s hoping you enjoyed your soggy-ass cereal this morning — because the people over at Facebook are celebrating their big IPO day … by dining on cran-orange scones, coconut mango smoothies, and sausage hash.

It’s all being offered at one of the cafes located at Facebook headquarters in Menlo Park, CA — where FB staffers dine for free — and the complimentary menu is claw-your-own-eyes-out delicious.

Here’s a full breakdown:

Strawberry banana soy smoothies, coconut mango smoothies, whole wheat cranberry orange scones, sausage and biscuit hash with cream gravy, whole wheat choco-chip pancakes with vanilla whipped cream, whole wheat low fat flax waffles, and old-fashioned buttermilk pancakes.

Most of you have already killed yourselves by now, so we’ll stop there.

Being rich is so much better than being not rich.

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‘AMERICAN IDOL’ Phillip Phillips Needs Surgery … REAL BAD

Phillip Phillips – one of the finalists on “American Idol” — has been URGED by his personal doctor to get surgery immediately … but Phillip wants to work through the pain and the risk so he can win next week.

Multiple “Idol” sources tell us … when Phillip went back home to Georgia last Saturday … his family doctor spent almost the entire stay by his side and was alarmed by what he saw — Phillip wasn’t eating and looked horrible.

Phillip suffers from severe kidney problems and at the beginning of the competition it got so bad he had a stent put in as a temporary fix until he could have surgery. But the condition has worsened and Phillip’s doc told him he needed surgery now. Phillip said he was not going to drop out of the show so the doctor told him he ABSOLUTELY had to go under the knife immediately after the finale.

We’re told the recovery time for the surgery is at least 6 weeks.
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JACKIE CHAN I’m QUITTING Action Movies

Jackie Chan‘s fighting days are OVER … at least on camera … ’cause the legendary actor says he’s giving up action movies so he can become “the Asian Robert De Niro.”

The 58-year-old was promoting his 100th flick, “Chinese Zodiac” earlier today — when he told reporters, “This will be my last action movie.”

He explained, “I tell you, I am not young any more … I am really, really tired.”

Chan — who has famously performed his own stunts for decades — added, “The world is too violent now. It’s a dilemma because I like action, but I don’t like the violence.”

He continued, “I don’t just want to be an action star … I want to be a true actor. I want to be an Asian Robert De Niro.”

“I want to get rid of my image. So, for the last ten years I’ve done other films like ‘The Karate Kid’ where I’d rather play an old man. I want the audience to know I’m not just about fighting or comedy, also I can act.”

Chan has suffered countless injuries on the sets of his movies … and FUN FACT — he appeared as an uncredited prison thug in the Bruce Lee classic, “Enter the Dragon” back in 1973.

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VAN HALEN We’re Just Burned Out

Even rockstars can get tired … and TMZ has learned that’s exactly why Van Halen decided to postpone 31 upcoming concert dates.

Sources close to the band tell us … the guys felt like the current schedule was “too much, too fast” … and they were “losing their focus.”

One source tells us, “They’re simply burned out” … adding, “They want to make sure their concerts are not a routine … they want every performance to be special.”

We’re told the guys want to take some time to “re-charge their engines” … so they can rock all 31 cities the way Van Halen fans expect to be rocked.

As for rumors that Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth are feuding … we’re told “It’s total B.S.”

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MILA KUNIS Alleged Stalker Ordered to Stay Away

Mila Kunis may now work out in peace — because the man accused of stalking the actress outside her gym has just been ordered to stay the hell away from her … presuming he can even bail out of jail.

27-year-old Stuart Lynn Dunn was charged with two counts of felony stalking after cops say he followed Mila to her L.A. gym several times earlier this month and waited for her in the parking lot. 
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AMBER PORTWOOD Released from Jail

Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood has been released from jail — again — after a judge gave her a 10 millionth chance.

As we reported, Amber was arrested and thrown in the slammer in Madison County, Indiana last week for skipping a drug court appointment — and allegedly lying about it.

But sources tell TMZ, the judge took pity on her Thursday — and decided to release her back to home detention.

The judge told Amber he wants her to continue drug rehab treatment and find a real job.

But if Amber screws up again, she could be thrown out of the drug court program entirely — at which point she’ll face her original prison sentence stemming from her December drug arrest … a terrifying 5 years behind bars.

The choice is hers.

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